29 Years of Wisdom RIGHT HERE.
The pic is of me in Melbourne, Australia on The Great Ocean Road. SO beautiful!
I was also freezing. A true Bali Tropical girl I have become... special love to Claire who let me borrow her eskimo coat. x
As promised, here are my ELEVEN LIFE LESSONS in my 29 years of life, so far... and what I look forward to exploring a bit more in my 30s. Also note, I've kinda just learned and/or noticed these things over the last 6 years, but I like to think I'm re-remembering what I've always kinda sorta known... te he he he....
1. COURAGE takes you where you want to be. Nothing else.*
Taking a risk, being defiant, defining what works for me, looking past the obvious, yadda yadda yadda....are all the moments and decisions that made something shift in my life. My biggest piece of advice to anyone interested in shaking shit up, is to literally SHAKE SHIT UP. Don't play it safe. Take the leap and magic always happens.
[*however + arguably, courage matched with a great heart is what takes you FARTHEST]
2. Follow the Breadcrumbs!
Which one may wonder in which direction to leap or take that risk? I have always been led by what I call breadcrumbs. Little nuances / hunches / gut responses / intuitive pulls / omens and yes, even "coincidences" to help me LEAN INTO the unknown to find and activate my magic. As The Alchemist always says, the whole Universe conspires to help us on our way. We just need to believe and go forward...
> Prediction for my 30s — at some point I'll need to stop ONLY searching for breadcrumbs / the low hanging fruit and begin baking some bread as well. And that's starting to start! No, I'm not using euphemisms for children (ahem, Mom), but rather I've found myself becoming accustomed to looking for signs to lead me, and now the Universe is forcing, I mean calling, me to CREATE instead of FOLLOW. It's fun and scary and new and great. There's more to come in this space!
3. It takes a village — over a lifetime.
We often say it takes a village to raise a child, but in reality, it takes a community to be a human. My best lesson to date has been on cultivating connection, support and love over the past 8 years in ways I wasn't taught or witnessed while growing up. It's been a major growth area as it relates to trust and communication especially, and one that will benefit my children's children. I've held onto connections made during my very first job in advertising, reconnected with distant family members, and nurtured new neighbors over the years and each of these relationships have expanded upon ideas — both "good" and "bad" — initially shared with me through blood family. The further I've gone and the more 'alone' I've been, I've always found a soul who understood me in some way and granted me some form of love and connection I truly needed at that particular time in my life.
I know there is a level of divine favor with these experiences — I only hope and believe I'm not an anomaly here and this can be experienced by every human in the world. I learned just how sweet and soft a cookie I am through all the people who helped me stop burning my own edges...
Also, the world has so much more humanity to give than we give it credit for.
4. Like words. LOVE Actions.
Not only in receiving, but also in giving.
I've sold ideas + opportunities and soon after, I was completely uninterested in the project. I've been given a false sense of security only to be waiting up for a flight with no travel partner. Humans be flaky! And that's kinda, totally expected. ESPECIALLY as we start listening to what we REALLY want and are being pulled towards — sticking to "the plan" is damn near impossible without some hurt feelings and disappointments. In this lesson, I have learned to become acutely aware of what I really want, and communicate that to myself and others as directly and with as much compassion as possible.
I've also learned to listen and watch for the untold story in everyone's behaviors and eyes. There are no secrets in the world — only moments we overlook because we're not attuned or choose to look beyond the obvious.
5. Don't go back, unless it's to go forward of course!
Nothing long here to share here. Except that every time I tried to turn back, it was out of fear. Fear of the future. Fear of my own success. Fear of abandonment. Fear of vulnerability.
Fuck, even fear of FEAR. And that's just nuts-ville.
I will humbly say, there were many times I thought I was going backwards in life, only to realize the Universe, God and I were just putting my life into the next gear... and sometimes we gotta roll back on the hill a little until the clutch catches and the right amount of petrol flows through ;)
6. Boundaries — the best game of Whac-A-Mole
These shits (yes, shits — plural) are forever moving and changing. Don't get me wrong, some are sure fire non-negotiables and crystal clear for me. However, as I change, expectations, needs, wants etc are constantly shifting. And I spent a great deal of 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, half of 2014, 2015, and DEFINITELY ALL OF 2016 trying to understand the difference between opportunities for growth and moments to stand strong on my beliefs / character.
I mean, sometimes, that's hard to answer.
But the answer is that everything is an opportunity to grow.
Which led me to this ritual — Every time stuff hits the fan, I always stop and ask myself two things:
- Is this a pattern / where is the pattern here?
- What am I supposed to gain / learn from this?
7. Empaths are the Most Powerful People
I've read a couple articles that always make empaths (raising my hand here) seem as if we're these fragile, super absorbent people who are so sensitive we need to proceed cautiously through crowds of "toxic people". Ummmmmmmmm FOLKS. NO.
I mean, not an absolute NO, but a sure Hold'Up and let's think about this.
Empaths are super sensitive because we cultivate, attract AND emit energy with great ease.
Which means, YES we should be aware of our surroundings, mindful of cleansing ourselves energetically and constantly scanning to see what emotions and whatnot are ours and what are others'... but let's not forget we INFLUENCE WITH GREAT EASE AS WELL. I had to get a hold of that these last months. I forget my presence can make AND break the atmosphere within seconds of me walking in a room. It's crazy magic. And weird. And dangerous.
I share this to say to all my Empath Friends and Family out there, we are here to influence great change. When you feel cloudy and small, cleanse your space, then radiate loudly, greatly and in true confidence that the light always outshines the dark. And that's a true blessing to be born with.
8. More Understanding | More Apologetic
In my journal, I wrote this headline as a trigger for something profound.
I can't remember what that was anymore.
But YES to the headline right?
Having more compassion in general, has awarded me the capacity to love living with more ease than ever before. So yeah, maybe some guy is being incredibly demeaning or some lady is nitpicking with you... so what?! Giving people what they think they need has allowed me to explore why it ever mattered to argue with them in the first place.
And that's given me more space for ME + LOVE. My two favorite things.
9. Reel in the Tendrils
I just learned this / had to put this in practice the last month. I was ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. energetically with long lists and getting barely anything done. So many energetic leaks. So many "but she needs me" and "ok, but after today..." And finally, with the help of my good friend, I was able to see I needed to pull in all the pieces of me I left with other people's needs and worries. Physically I was carrying my body, but my mind and spirit were scattered.
It's good to be back.
I have a great meditation for this if you're interested. Just drop me a note....
10. Energy is EVERYTHING + magic.
THIS. I never want to stop feeling this while I'm on Earth.
Understanding how this works intrigues me daily. Exploring how to manage, cultivate and leverage is my life study.
11. Religion is to Spirit. What Clothing is to Bodies.
I'm pretty confident in saying I am 93% sure I'll never claim to be a devotee to any one religion ever again in my life. WHY? Because they all have their benefits, they are all so beautiful, and they all come back to SOURCE. GOD. THE UNIVERSE.
So wear whatever you'd like. And know that we will always have something in common.
As always, here are my BONUSES:
12. Ask + You Shall Receive.
Boy oh boy did this knock me on my butt this year. Literally, I think God and The Universe are having a great time watching me squirm in my skin every time I'm faced to accept and work through EXACTLY what I had been asking for. Here's the thing folks, when you ask for healing and to break cycles, those cycles come at you HARD. like, UBER HARD. And I keep having to choose to confront them daily to change my habits. It's painfully beautiful choice. And I'm grateful.
But still. Fuck.
13. Even in Alignment, we always have CHOICE.
I love signs and astrology and readings like the next spiritual / new age chick. But let me tell you... we always have the choice to choose a slightly different path. It's like taking a different route home from work... different road, cars and houses, same destination in the long run. We can only delay for so long, even if that means another life cycle with the same set of challenges to overcome. That's my beliefs on it...
14. The Root of All Bad Things...
Fear (of failure).
Fear (of not belonging).
Fear (of being unworthy / not good enough).
Every bad thing comes down to these three. and they are driven by FEAR. Fucking Fear.
I often check in on myself to see which is influencing me throughout my day. And adjust accordingly.
Hope you enjoyed. I don't feel like editing right now... so please ignore any typos!
xx and with love.
Ash
Next post — All the things I'm grateful for...
It's gonna be a great one, so I hope you tune it
(and it inspires you to check in on your goodies in life ;)